


To Be Certain

by badwithusernames



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23531800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwithusernames/pseuds/badwithusernames
Summary: It has been weeks since Aloy and her allies defeated Eclipse and HADES. Since then, the young huntress has spent her days and nights searching for clues to her next destination: a placed called, "Carson City, Nevada." After waking from a recurring nightmare, Aloy tries to work through some of the lingering questions she has been too afraid to ask herself.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	To Be Certain

Aloy crept towards the edge of the metal ridge of the cauldron, her steps careful and deliberate. She peered down into the core room, as she had several times before, and saw the too-familiar sight of metal hands darting and twisting as they hurried to construct HEPHAESTUS’s newest monstrosity. The young huntress wondered what it could be this time. Normally the beasts she encountered in the cauldrons were four or five times her size—her teeth still rattled from the pounding of a freshly birthed thunderjaw as it tore through Cauldron ZETA—but this one…. Well, it was difficult to see clearly, but it looked to be no bigger than a watcher.

It was held behind a force field of pale, violet light. They always were. Aloy knew that she had to climb to one of the control panels and use her spear to override the construction. From there, she would do what she always did: defeat the machine, whatever it was, and shut down the cauldron.

She made quick work of the two watchers circling the field. One arrow in each eye. She used her focus to scan the room for any possible surprises— _Nothing_.—then turned her attention back towards whatever thing was sitting atop the core. Her focus scanned for answers, but all it gave was a feeble chirp and the message DATA CORRUPTION: SEVERE and nothing else. Even as she tried to get a closer look, the machine arms darted into her path, obstructing the view.

It didn't matter. She would release it, then kill it like all the rest.

Except her curiosity always got the best of her these days. Something about this mysterious creature called out to her. The rhythmic whirring of the arms back and forth was both a heartbeat and a beacon that drew her in.

It was all she could do to remember caution. Even if she could not see them, there might still be machines in the surrounding tunnels, ready to defend the core if it was threatened. So, she dropped to the floor as softly as she could, and moved slowly towards the field.

As she grew closer, she felt the anxiety tighten around her chest. Each step brought the new machine clearer into view. She saw now that it was a biped, like a watcher, but that it stood upright. Red cords pulsing with light draped down its back like a mess of hair—

 _Wait_.

Her mind felt like it was on fire as she circled the field, taking in new pieces of the machine. She knew what she would find, but she could not stop herself from moving closer and closer. Long arms that ended in hands that looked almost human… except that they ended in sharp claws that could tear through flesh in an instant. A chest plated in strong metal and wrapped in knotted wires like they were a necklace.

Small bits of metal that folded neatly together to form a familiar face. A face she saw when she stared down into the water… a face she saw at every Old One facility… except twisted into an unnatural, mechanical shape. Two lenses where eyes would be gave off the faintest green glow.

Aloy did not breathe as she stood in front of what could only be a mechanical copy of—of _herself_. Standing there, half made, still asleep….

She held her hand up to the field and felt the electricity bristle at her fingertips. The spark leapt back, striking the machine straight in its chest, right where its heart might beat.

 _No. Not me_ , she thought as the lenses tightened and the green glow became brighter. They focused with the faintest shutter. They _saw_ her standing there, frozen in place.

She was not standing in the core room anymore. Aloy found herself surrounded by the towering ectogenic chambers of ELEUTHIA-9. Hundreds of them, all active. All filled with grotesque visions—creatures of flesh and metal, all with the same face and the same glowing, green eyes.

A dark, synthetic voice like metal scraped across metal echoed through the chamber: “KILL THE ENTITY. KILL THE ENTITY.”

As though on cue, the machine let out a blood-curdling screech as its eyes shifted from green to red. It leapt forward like a bolt of lightning; its claws stretched out towards Aloy’s neck.

The huntress jerked awake, her hands twitching instinctively, ready to defend herself from the coming attack. It took her just a moment to realize she was no longer standing in her twisted nightmare. Instead, she was lying on a soft bed in one of the many guest rooms of the Palace of the Sun. The stars shining through her window hung in a pale orange sky—her dream had woken her just before dawn.

Almost a dozen books were spread out across the right side of the enormous bed. When Aloy was not out hunting with the Lodge or doing her part to help the reconstruction down at the Ridge, she was here in the palace. She spent her time pouring through the palace’s resources, looking for a single piece of information: the location of a place the Old Ones called, “Carson City”. According to one of the datalogs she had found along her journey, it was the place where Dr. Elisabet Sobeck was born and raised.

Her search had turned up empty so far. Honestly, she did not know what she was expecting—it was not like the Carja would have a map of the Old World tucked away in one of their libraries. She knew that between the Sun King’s resources and her focus the pieces would eventually fall into place, but that did not stop her from being infuriated by her lack of progress….

“Are you all right?” Aloy leapt to her feet and reached for her spear, pointing it straight to the door of her room. Standing there, holding a tray topped with two cups of freshly brewed tea, was an older woman dressed in a shimmering red nightgown. Her eyes widened when she saw Aloy’s spear aimed for her heart, but she did not flinch. It took her a moment, but then she smiled and tilted her head gently to the side. “I am sorry, I did not mean to alarm you,” said the Dowager Queen Nasadi.

Slowly, Aloy lowered her spear but did not release it. “Queen Nasadi,” she said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “what are you doing here?”

“I was just making some tea for Avad and myself when I heard noises. It sounded like you were having quite the bad dream.”

“Why were you making tea? Can’t you just ask the servants to do that for you?” Aloy asked, her tone harsher than she intended. Her heart was still pounding in her ears and she knew that her hands were shaking. She glanced around the room, scanning every shadow. Her imagination warned her that the machine might still be close, ready to strike.

“Of course. But sometimes, it helps me to do some things for myself. Especially now that I finally feel I have the freedom to do so.”

 _Of course_. Aloy had been insensitive. Until recently, Nasadi and her son were captives of the Shadow Carja. They had spent two years in a gilded cage, until Aloy helped bring them here to Meridian.

“I’m sorry. That was rude of me to say,” said Aloy.

“I am the one who came to your room unannounced,” Nasadi countered.

The huntress just shook her head. “This is your palace. You can go wherever you like.”

“This is the Sun-King’s palace. And you are his honored guest, as always. But enough apologies, Aloy. May I ask what’s troubling you?”

Aloy tried to relax and sat back down on the bed, placing the spear by her side. Nasadi placed the tea tray on a nearby table and joined her. She was sure to keep a comfortable distance, but Aloy still felt she was too close. Every nerve in the huntress’s body felt wired with electricity—if anyone came near, she was afraid it would leap out of her and strike them down.

Just like the lightning in her dream.

“I’m fine.” She did not even attempt to sound sincere. “It’s just a dream. I’ve had it before. A few times, now.”

It had been almost a month since she and her allies had defeated Eclipse and destroyed HADES. Almost a month since she had learned of her origins—how she was _made_ —and the purpose behind her creation. She was created to stop HADES. To save GAIA—to save the _world_. The first step was done; as far as she knew, HADES was defeated, but GAIA remained inactive.

She had accepted GAIA’s purpose for her because she knew that it was the right thing to do. Aloy cared about the world, and she cared about preserving life. “This is a beautiful place,” she whispered, staring down at her hands. “I’m glad we were able to keep it safe. That’s all that matters.”

“It is indeed,” said the Queen. “Thank you for helping us make a safe home for my son.” She thought Aloy was speaking of Meridian, and the young woman did not correct her. “You have won many great battles, but every battle—even victories—leave marks on our souls. It is understandable to be troubled by all the things you’ve been made to endure.”

“It’s not the fighting that bothers me,” said Aloy. She was a huntress. Killing machines or killing people who destroyed innocent lives… she never questioned that fighting injustice was the right thing to do. “I don’t regret any decision I’ve had to make. The moment I knew HADES was gone, I felt… it was more than relief. More than joy. I felt peace, for the first time in—I don’t know, maybe my entire life.”

“And yet this nightmare recurs….”

“Yes. I just don’t understand _why_.”

“Oh, we may not have known each other for very long, my dear, but even I can tell there is precious little beyond your reach. Perhaps the problem is that you understand all too well.”

Aloy winced. Nasadi reminded her of Teersa in many ways. They had the same warmth and compassion, except Nasadi’s words were not marred in tradition and superstition. They were brief and cut straight to the point.

Of course. It was obvious to Aloy what her dream was trying to tell her. But she knew if she spoke the words aloud, there was no taking them back. If they remained locked inside her… they remained safe.

Except she could still feel the electricity building.

When she told Teersa and the Nora what GAIA said to her—no, to _Elisabet_ —about her origin and the reason behind it, they threw themselves on their knees and bowed to her. They tried to worship her. Even when she dragged them back to their feet and demanded they look her in the eyes, she could tell that they did not see _her_. They called her a blessing, but what they saw was a machine, programmed with a singular purpose, manufactured to save them.

“I don’t blame them for thinking that way…” she whispered aloud. It was her first reaction as well: the idea that she was somehow _different,_ maybe even less than human. A machine made from flesh instead of metal. Except she thought she had made peace with that. When she thought about Elisabet Sobeck, she was overwhelmed with pride, admiration and a kind of bittersweet sadness. Maybe even love. She was glad to carry on the doctor’s work—glad to protect the future Elisabet gave her life to build.

And yet, an important question haunted the back of her mind. “Queen Nasadi… if you were told that out there in the world, somewhere, there was someone else who looked—well, exactly like you. Like a twin, almost, but—but _more_. Your voice, your face. The two of you identical in every way. How would you feel to know that person was out there somewhere? How would you feel if they were standing right in front of you?”

Nasadi considered Aloy’s questions, and the exhausted look on her face. “Identical in every way?”

“Yes….”

“My face, and my voice.”

“Yes, but—but younger, too. Born at a different time, in a different place. Copied _from_ you, like a—well…. How would you feel?” Aloy’s voice was strained now. Despite her best efforts, she could feel the tears welling up inside her chest. The questions she never wanted to ask; the answers she was afraid to hear but still longed for in the depths of her heart. They were overwhelming. “What would you _see_ when you looked at them? What would you _say_?”

_What would Elisabet say…?_

“Identical in _every_ way.” Nasadi reached out and gently brushed a stray piece of hair from Aloy’s forehead. “So, they have my memories, too? My name? My story?”

“What? N-No. No, not like that…. Just—”

“Then how can we be the same?”

Aloy let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not what I—that’s not the point!”

“I think it is,” said Nasadi slowly. “If I saw this—this _copy_ —as you describe them, I am certain I would be shocked at first. Perhaps even a bit frightened. But I am also certain that if I took the time to know them, to hear what _their_ life was like, to share our stories with each other… then I hope I would come to see them as a friend. A sister, or even—”

“A daughter?”

Nasadi could see the desperation in those green eyes. Although she did not fully understand, she knew that for Aloy this was somehow more than a hypothetical question. “A daughter, perhaps… but _family_ —well, without a doubt.”

“You really think so…?”

The question hung in the air. Aloy’s eyes drifted to the focus sitting by her pillow. Even now it was whittling away at the last of the corrupted data files she had collected from Elisabet’s room inside GAIA Prime. Data that Aloy hoped would lead her on the next part of her journey, but also… give her another chance to know Elisabet—to hear her voice.

“Aloy… do you believe you are a monster?” asked the Queen. 

Again, her fingers twitched towards her neck; those red eyes flashed from the dark corners of the room. “Not… anymore,” she admitted.

“Then why would she?”

Aloy had spent weeks reading every log she could find in her focus on Elisabet Sobeck’s life. When Sylens had tried to dismiss Elisabet’s sacrifice as nothing but a logical decision back at GAIA Prime, she might have strangled him if he had not been a projection. Aloy knew Elisabet better than him—better than anyone. That was what she wanted to believe. Everything she had learned, and everything she felt, told her that Elisabet was kind and generous.

Elisabet must have known that her clone’s creation was possible, maybe even inevitable. Perhaps that was not the real question that Aloy needed answered after all. 

The hundreds, maybe even thousands, of mechanical eyes staring back at her through the dark of her nightmare…. Each one was a possibility. But not inevitable. Aloy was the one who was sitting here, now, tearing through every scrap of parchment and bit of data she could find in order to find Sobeck’s Ranch. All for what?

One day, Aloy would reboot GAIA. She would stand in front of the AI that created her—not as Elisabet Sobeck, but as herself. What would GAIA think about the life Aloy had lived, or the person she had become?

_What would Elisabet think…? She had so much to be proud of. Would she be proud of me—just me—the way that I am…? I just wish—_

“—I just wish I could be certain.”

Nasadi stood, took one of the teacups, and placed it carefully in the young woman’s hands. “I think you are,” she said.

Aloy looked up, her eyes unfocused, as though she was already drifting back towards sleep. “But this is for—” she began, trying to push the cup back into the Queen’s hands.

“It’s all right,” said Nasadi with a playful wink, “I’ll have one of the servants make another.”

Aloy managed a small smile and a thankful nod. “If Talanah comes to find you, I will have Marad let her know you have other business this morning. You clearly need your sleep.” The Queen returned to the doorway, but turned to give Aloy one last, warm glance. “After all, you are not some tireless machine Aloy… so stop treating yourself like one.”

The door clicked softly shut and Aloy looked down into the small surface of her cup. Through the light haze of steam, she could see her reflection. Light skin dotted with freckles, red hair, green eyes… and not a scrap of metal in sight. She took a small sip before placing the cup back down on the table and laying her head back against the pillows. It still took several moments before she finally allowed herself to breathe and her nerves to unwind, but she thought she might finally get some semblance of rest.

It felt like no sooner had she fallen asleep than the bright blue and purple light of her focus woke her again. With a loud groan, Aloy reached for it and placed it against her ear. “Sylens, I swear, if this is some—”

She stopped, her eyes scanning the message again and again, hardly able to believe what she saw:

**DATA INTEGRITY RESTORED…**

**GAIA LOG: 3 FEB 2065 R**


End file.
